Love Continued

Another thing that makes me believe in soul mates can be illustrated in the song "If Only They Knew" by A Rocket To The Moon. In this song the singer says, "No one knows you like I do. They don't see you like I do, baby. They'll try to but if only they knew, they will never come close to you." This song talks about the feeling that you and your boyfriend/husband/ soul mate etc. are the only two people in the entire world who understand each other perfectly. I have never met anyone like that and I hope that someday I do.

Love

In my fantasy world, soul mates do exist. I actually constantly imagine who my soul mate might be, how I will meet him, what he will look like, and so on. I know this sounds foolish, but it makes me happy to think that there is some guy out there that was made to complete me, to be my other half. I am not so foolish to think that your husband should be your "everything" as the article says. I value my friends and family so much and would never be willing to give them up. In my experience, I am used to liking the guys who do not like me back but settling for the guys who like me more than I like them. I want to know what it feels like to love every part of someone, but in my experience with relationships, there have always been parts of the other person that I wish I could change, and I find myself in a constant internal battle of whether or not I should stay in the relationship. I know I have not had much experience with "mature" relationships, but knowing that there is someone out there who I could love every part of makes me wonder: "What is the point of trying to be with anyone until I meet that certain person?" I also have an issue with pining after a certain guy and then once I may "have" him, I do not want him anymore and almost instantly, I start to see all of the bad things about that person once I am in some sort of a relationship. But, if I ever ended it, I would immediately go back to only seeing the good things about him. I am obsessed with the thought of finding my soul mate and staying with that person forever, but in reality I freak out about committing to even a silly high school relationship. One thing that intrigues me about the quest for a soul mate is the thought of staying with that person until you grow old. This is illustrated in the song "Young and Beautiful" by Lana del Rey.The song goes: “Will you still love me / When I’m no longer young and beautiful? / Will you still love me / When I got nothing but my aching soul? / I know you will, I know you will” Another song that touches me is "Accidentally in Love" by the Counting Crows (even though I am not in love!). I recently have began a relationship with a guy who started out as one of my best friends and who I have known since 2nd grade. This song talk about how sometimes relationships happen by accident which is definitely true in this personal scenario. This previous summer I was involved with a different guy and spent a lot of my time being concerned with the relationship while hanging out as friends with the guy I am currently involved with. When the first relationship ended, my friend was so helpful to me and I guess that eventually led to us becoming more than friends. I just thought it was funny how I was so busy thinking about the one guy while right in front of my face, someone else was thinking about me. One thing that does bother me about soul mates is the idea of mutual feelings of love. It is incredibly hard to find someone who loves you as equally as you love them. Somebody always gives more or needs more to/from the other person. I am terrified that I may find someone who is my "idea" of a soul mate but I am not theirs and they might think that they are just "settling" for me. This feeling is evident in the song "All Alone in Love" by Mariah Carey: "You haunt me in my dreams I'm calling out your name I watch you fade away And then your love is not the same I've figured out your style To quickly drift apart You held me for a while Planned it from the start All alone in love" One more song that touched me is "The Gold Standard" by Fall Out Boy. This song talks about being afraid to let your love show. They sing: "I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me." I have felt this sometimes in a lesser way. I have felt this about being uncomfortable to show a lot of affection in public, or PDA. I have always wanted to be able to not care at all about what other people think of me and my relationships, but of course, that is much harder than it seems.

Gender Equality

I have been taught that girls are expected to "act like a lady" meaning we are supposed to sit with our legs crossed and be respectful. There is nothing wrong with that, but I feel as if less and less women are actually acting like ladies and less which is causing less men to act like gentlemen. The more that women are allowing themselves to be objectified and sexualized, the more men are going to do it. Another thing that I have been taught is to express my femininity. There is a show on MTV called "Girl Code" where girls discuss a wide range of feminine topics, often in a comedic manner. One of these topics was crying. All of the girls on the show talked about how much they love crying and how they do it almost every day. If boys ever did this, I am sure they would be made fun of for the rest of their life. It is a psychological fact that girls are more in tune with their emotions than boys are. I have two siblings, a younger sister and an older brother. One way that my parents have corrected behavior based on gender is with cursing. My brother has cursed in front of my parents many times and they usually never say anything about it. When my sister and I accidentally let out a much less "severe" curse word, we are reprimanded for it. When we challenge this and say that they allow our brother to curse but not us, they respond:"It's different for girls. It sounds way worse coming out of a girl's mouth than coming out of a boy's mouth." This has always been something that bothers me. Going to an all girls school has taught me that there is much more to your identity than your gender and we can not allow our gender to determine our identity. It is frowned upon for girls at the Mount to wear make up to school (not by the administrators but by the actual students). Everyone says: "Who are you trying to impress by wearing make up to school?" However, I believe that girls are much more judgmental than boys when it comes to appearances, at least girls pay more attention to the details than do the boys. I expect the boys to be gentlemen in a romantic relationship. I have the privelege of associating with boys who are taught to be gentlemen, but not all girls are this lucky. I think it is different depending on where you grow up, but for the most part, my parents and the media have taught me to expect the boy in the relationship to pay for things and hold doors for women etc. This idea has been around for a long time and I do not think it should change. However, what is indeed changing is the stereotypical role of the man to be at work while the women stays home and cooks and cleans. It is becoming more and more socially acceptable for it to be the opposite case, which is a good thing. Women should not be set on the domestic role; they should have the option of doing whatever they want.

Miss Representation

The movie and article did not surprise me that much. I watch enough television and absorb enough social media content to know that women are consistently being objectified and sexualized. I think this is going to be an extremely difficult endeavor to change the representation of women, especially in the media. It took a long time and a lot of work for women to get equal rights and I believe that we will have to endure a similar struggle if we want to be treated appropriately. There is a stigma against women in the workplace and I anticipate this will be another hard thing to change. I hate to admit it, but one of the things my brother said to me to get me to apply to a more competitive school Early Decision was, "You will meet boys here who will be smarter and more successful ." This definitely appealed to me, as sad as it is. I wanted to go to a college where I could meet a rich boy who I could eventually marry. I did get accepted into this college, but now I intend to go there and learn, not to meet my future husband. I want to be just as smart so that I could, if I wanted to, support myself alone. The workplace has definitely become more accessible to women over the years, but it is still not completely fair and equal, and I do not think we should stop until it is. My experience at the Mount has deeply ingrained in my brain the idea of female empowerment. I sometimes do not realize this until I talk to other girls from other schools. The Mount has taught me that I can be just as successful as any man can because it is my choice to be educated and it my choice of what I do with that education. I have realized over the years that it is not about your gender that makes your identity; it is solely about the type of person you are.

Mission Statement

I am and always have been very passionate about dance. The most important part of my life is my family. I do not know where I would be without them. My friends are also a huge part of my life because I have known them for so long. I have many goals and dreams for myself, but I do not know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life. My main goal is to be happy and hopefully, success will be a part of that. I intend to travel and see many different parts of the world. I think that everyone was put on this Earth for a reason, and I have yet to figure out that reason. Sometimes I feel as if I was destined for something more than just a normal daily routine. I want to keep my friends and family close to me for the rest of my life because without them, I could never truly achieve happiness. I hope to keep my passion for dance integrated into my life as well.

My Identity

For the many years of elementary school and the first few years of middle school, most kids try out a bunch of different sports and activities to see what interests them the most. Only a select few dedicate their pre-teen years to a certain sport or activity. When I was in 7th grade, I was one of those kids who had tried everything. I played a variety of sports and participated in different clubs and activities. I soon began to realize, however, that everyone around me was discovering their niche. I was not especially good at any of the sports I had played so I felt a little discouraged. However, it did not take long for me to realize that my true talent was in dance. I had taken dance classes just for fun almost every year with my friends. I was a cheerleader for 9 years with my best friend as well. By the time we got older, most of my friends stopped taking classes for fun and focused more on the sports that they excelled in. I had a mini-epiphany and realized that I did not want to stop! I kept taking a class in 7th grade even though all my friends had quit, and in 8th grade I went to a new dance studio and signed up for a bunch of new classes. Almost immediately, I knew I had made a great choice. Everyone at the new dance studio had been dancing since they were 3 years old, and I was just getting started. It took a lot of commitment and dedication, but from where I stand today, it was definitely worth it. I spent the past four years of high school dancing almost every day, and taking more and more classes each year.I went from being super intimidated as a 13 year old girl with practically no intense dance experience, to being on the same competition team as the girls who have been dancing forever. The persistence it took for me to become the dancer I am today is part of my identity and I am sure that it will remain with me for my entire life as I continue to dance. Another part of my life that has affected my identity is my group of friends. I switched elementary schools when I was in 2nd grade and the friends that I made there are still my best friends today. It truly amazes me everyday that my friends have been able to stick together all this time. Each one of us participates in a different sport/activity so it would have been very easy for us to drift apart and not stay as close. We did not choose the easy option. We fought for our friendship and we will continue to fight for it forever. The love and care my friends and I share will always be a part of my identity. Another crucial part of my identity is the love I share with my family. My parents give me a speech every year before the first day of school telling me that no matter whhat happens at school, I will always be loved unconditionally at home. This exemplifies how much they care about me. My siblings have been my best friends for my whole life. Our fights never last more than an hour before we are back to laughing and having fun. My brother could have been mistaken for my parent during my junior year of high school as he cared so much about the college process and my SATs. When I asked him why he cared so much he replied simply, "I just want you to be happy." I tell my sister everything and we can act completely ridiculous around each other without a problem. My family is a part of me that I will never let go.